Yep, Kindergarten can be quite fun kids! There’s plenty of stuff to do around! Take part in the show and tell, make new friends, get beaten up by the school bully, talk to weird kids, get smacked in the face with a shovel. Y’know, stuff you did in Kindergarten! (Insert maniacal laugh here).
Warning, Dark Humor Ahead!
Right, so if you’re a guy who doesn’t mind a great deal of dark humor, has a shit-ton of patience and enjoys seeing kids get beaten up over and over again, then Kindergarten is the game for you! In Kindergarten, you play as a child who attends kindergarten. You make your way around school collecting trading cards, talking people, solving problems and buying illegal items from that one shady kid who’s always up to no good! And that’s not all! In Kindergarten, you learn to make new friends, educate yourself, collect trading cards, and survive. Yep, that’s right! You can die! That’s how neglectful the teachers are here. For Pete’s sake, the janitor can beat your face up with a spade shovel… Oops… Spoilers…
Features & Stuff
Kindergarten is an abstract puzzle adventure game. You play as a student in a school that’s a bit…off. The teacher is trying to get rid of her kids. the janitor is frequently seen cleaning up blood. The cafeteria is serving the same slop over and over again. Kids are walking around with strange devices planted on them after visiting the principal, and one of your fellow classmates has gone missing. It’s up to you to figure out what’s going on because your life might depend on it.
- Take part in a show and tell! Bring slop from the cafeteria for show & tell!
- Play house with Cindy! Yeah!
- Get beat up by the school bully! He’ll take your lunch money kids!
- Talk to the weird kid! Talk to the bully! Talk to the janitor who’s secretly a serial killer, or maybe a hitman, one of the two.
- Destroy school property and get shot in the head by the principal!
- Get poisoned in various ways!
- Solve a missing person’s case! Find Billy and uncover the truth behind the school!
- Talk with your classmates and engage in conversations! Solve problems and puzzles like never before!
You know…all the things you did while you were in Kindergarten. (Insert another maniacal laughter here).
Analysis & Shiz…
Kindergarten is a great game that blends perfectly with the dark sense of humor implanted into the game by the amazing developers at Con Man Games and Smash Games. It’s a great game that you can certainly play offline, without internet! Solve tricky puzzles and uncover a chilling secret beneath the school. Although the game gets quite repetitive and takes quite a bit of patience to finish, it certainly gets a chuckle out of you! And that’s not all! Kindergarten gets your brain cranking to finish the puzzles presented in the game and requires lots of thinking and deviousness. That’s a word, right?
Ready to start expelling kids? Great! Then click here!
- OS: Windows XP
- Processor: 1.6ghz
- Memory: 1 GB RAM
- Graphics: ATI Mobility Radeon 4200
- DirectX: Version 11
- Storage: 150 MB available space
- Sound Card: Any
- OS: Windows 7
Disclaimer: Kindergarten is the rightful product of Con Man Games and Smash Games. I am not in any way, (except for writing this article), related to the product.